Have Some Rogue One Soundtrack Fun

by Taxus

Taxus is responsible for one of 2015’s more memorable Star Wars memes and is back with a new one in the form of the Rogue One Soundtrack.

With all the news about Star Wars: Rogue One, I think it can be a good thing to sit back and have some fun. Seriously, Rogue One is a serious Star Wars movie for serious Star Wars Fans much like The Force Awakens was. But what about that Rogue One soundtrack?

The months of buildup create an intensity that culminates into a ball of energy; a veritable Star Wars combustion engine pulsing with pressurized excitement when we finally take our seats and (maybe) see the opening words “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”

But the quest to reach this pinnacle of fan exuberance has not grown simply by the auspices of natural order. It must be carefully cultivated, cared for and nurtured. As fans, we jealously protect our future experiences from anything that would destroy any small fraction of pleasure. Fans accept nothing less than a one-hundred percent surprise factor. So, like fandom gardeners jealously protecting our precious  prize-winning rose of event enjoyment, we do everything we can to destroy the plant-eating aphids of spoilers. Fans only trust plant food products from news sources if their labels proclaim “Spoiler Free” or “Spoiler Alert!”

The Ghost of Spoilers Past!

There is a good reason for this phobia of spoilers. Many in the Star Wars fandom recall the travesty of the Phantom Menace soundtrack. Like everyone else excited to hear the music of the then-new Star Wars movie (having grown up with the soundtracks of the original trilogy as the only way to experience the movies as a child) I bought my copy on the release date of May 4, 1999 (message!). The actual movie was released on May 19, 1999.

Like many, I quickly read through all the track listings, excited to glean of new Star Wars when I hit the infamous track number 15, titled “Qui-Gon’s Noble End.”

Bummer, huh?

But, I was still resolute about seeing the movie and it did not spoil the fun I had with some of my friends when we saw it, almost three weeks later. Looking back at it, I had a nice laugh about the experience.

We’re Having Fun Here, No?

Now fast forward with me in time to May of 2015. While working through some tedious calculation at my employ, I was struck with the notion that it would be fun to create a parody early release soundtrack for The Force Awakens that poked a little fun at The Phantom Menace incident and at me as a fan for what information I voraciously inhaled, like Rey’s Speeder. So I began collaborating with an associate of mine, Wayne Welborn, and we developed some faux fun for fans, the results of which are below.

tfa-soundtrack-parody

Was it goofy? Yes. Did it have bad gags? Yes. Did the first track signal that this was a joke? Maybe? Yes. Yes it did. But sometimes we need a laugh, and if the jokes aren’t too great, then laugh at the groan they evoke. But beyond any humor, I was amazed at how many people were terrified to read the track listing. But undaunted, Wayne & I decided to keep up a little tradition for the next movie, this time working in a couple of gags from the podcast I co-host with Dennis Keithly, Starships, Sabers and Scoundrels.

So against that backdrop, I’d like to present to you the definitive, exclusive, breaking news of the (fake) Star Wars Rogue One soundtrack that is (not) so full of spoilers. Enjoy!

r1-soundtrack-parody

Oh, and by popular demand, here’s the single.

r1-single-parody

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